


Baby Steps

by Ahtai



Series: Learning to Live (Again) [2]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28166745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ahtai/pseuds/Ahtai
Summary: SPOILERS FOR ENDINGIt's hard trying to figure out where he stands with V's friends.---In which Johnny Silverhand learns how to have friends.
Series: Learning to Live (Again) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063445
Comments: 9
Kudos: 74





	1. Judy

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to my previous work, [Promise](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129185). Other characters have been planned for this fic but here's Judy first.

His experience with V has changed him, for better or for worse.

Johnny's a changed man, he likes to think that about himself. Sure, the first few weeks of his new life he had spent trying to avoid his problems, convinced himself that once he said V's goodbyes for him he'll be able to leave this city behind and start his new life.

Well, things don't often end up the way he wants them to. It's like Arasaka Tower again, and V's impromptu decision to give him his body.

But maybe that's a good thing.

He checks his phone after a shower, and sees that Judy has sent him a new text. ' _ Sunny Miami! :) _ ' It says, with a picture of her posing on the beach attached to it.

At first, he didn't understand why she kept texting V's phone. After all, he's gone, and Johnny was sure that he was clear about that. He told her as much, sent her an admittedly unkind text about getting it through her head that V's gone, but she had just texted back that she knew, and the picture is for Johnny.

He had promptly ignored her after that, until he looked back at the conversation a few weeks later after almost boarding a bus out of Night City, and texted back.

' _ where r u now _ ' He had sent, because the last picture she sent was of her dinky car in what looks like a desert (again). That message started a conversation between the two of them, albeit mostly one sided with Judy talking about the places she had visited, but still a conversation nonetheless.

It felt nice talking to someone again.

' _ cool _ ' He replies to Judy, and after a moment of thought adds ' _ u gonna swim? _ ' and leaves it at that. Maybe one day he'll be able to leave Night City too without feeling like he has unfinished business here.

Johnny still remembers it like yesterday, when V made his decision to walk across the metaphorical bridge and merge with Alt. He had tried to goad V into taking back his own body, told him that he was running away from his problems again by doing this, but the guy was too smart to fall for that, of course. He realized that, at the station waiting to board the bus, that just leaving without a word felt a bit like he was the one running away.

' _ Maybe! Brought my wetsuit. _ ' Judy replies when he's eating lunch a few hours later. That reminds him of the last time they saw her in real life, diving into the depths of Laguna Bend, when he had made a snarky comment about the water, warned V not to go in, and was proven correct as usual when the relic malfunctioned in the middle of their little dive. He remembers gaining respect for Judy for dragging V's body out of the water on her own, but he would never admit to that out loud.

' _ do u still have that BD of when u and V went diving? _ ' He’s not sure why he’s asking, but it seems to him that V never took pictures of himself- The most recent photo in his phone shows Kerry fucking Eurodyne posing with Us Cracks, a photo he has brought up with the man more than a few times for a good laugh. The second most recent is of a younger looking V posing with a burly man with a top knot he doesn't recognize, so it's definitely from before the biochip. Not that he really needs a keepsake, he’s wearing the man’s face so it’s hard to forget about him, but there might be something different about experiencing a braindance recorded from V’s perspective.

‘ _ Of course! Do you want me to send you a copy? _ ’ Is the message he gets soon after, and Johnny’s about to answer when he realizes that he can’t bring himself to say yes. Something about sort of maybe experiencing  _ being _ V bothers him, a feeling that he can’t put into words.

‘ _ don’t think i’m ready for that yet _ ’ He replies instead after putting it off for a while. ‘ _ maybe another time _ ’

Judy seems to understand and he’s grateful for that, and today’s conversation ends there, with him feeling a bit hollow.


	2. Panam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo idk how to write Panam so I really hope she's not too ooc

The first time he met Panam again, she kept talking to him like V was still there. 

She called him, asked him to come see her at the Aldecaldo's camp and wouldn't take no for an answer. Johnny had hung up on her with no intention of following through, but ended up riding out to the Badlands to see her anyway, because it's not like he had anything else to do except for rot in the apartment.

It bothered him that she kept talking about saving V from cyberspace even though she had no idea what she was talking about. She had a little conspiracy board and everything, of information on Alt Cunningham and cyberspace that was no doubt just lifted off the web, and had come up with some weird, half baked plan to drag V out of there.

Johnny had not taken it well, didn’t like being talked to like he was just keeping V’s body warm for him to come take it back at any moment. Sure, he’d give it back up in a heartbeat if he had the chance, but that’s impossible. Fucking impossible, or else he wouldn’t be here, V would be here instead, and Panam wouldn’t be talking his ear off next to her shitty, dusty trailer.

“You don’t know shit about what went on,” He had slammed his fist into the table, disrupting her and startling everyone present, “But he’s fucking  _ gone _ and I’m here now, so you better fucking get used to it.” 

How is he even supposed to explain the situation? She won’t let him get a word in, and he’s too pissed to even start.

Needless to say, that meeting did not end well.

Mitch and Saul had to insert themselves between the two of them as they shouted at each other, both convinced their side is in the right (Johnny is still sure that his is), and in the end Johnny flips them all off as he stomps off.

That really should've been the end of that, but Panam called him a few days later, looking and sounding like shit.

"I'm sorry." She started, and Johnny didn't even bother to suppress the smug satisfaction that rose as she went on. She had looked disapprovingly at him, probably because he was smirking as she apologized, but the call had ended well enough that he no longer felt a burning hatred towards her and her entire clan.

These days, he finds that she's good company. Sometimes she invites him to blow shit up in the panzer, or fuck up some Raffen Shiv, and they're both things he doesn't mind (or even likes) doing in his spare time.

"Hey, Johnny." Panam says one day in the middle of driving to the enemy's hideout, and he grunts in acknowledgement.

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you before. You know, about V." He looks at her, not understanding why she's bringing it up now. 

"You already apologized for that." Johnny states. They settled that difference ages ago, or at least he thought they did.

"Yes, but… I was kind of caught up in saving V that I didn't really consider the whole situation, I think." 

The silence is uncomfortable as he thinks about what to say. Part of him just wants to take this opportunity to push the blame onto her, since she's so willing, but another part, that part that V had touched, says to apologize too. Apologize for his unwillingness to explain the situation.

"Didn't help much either." He finally says with a shrug, "Just wanted to make you feel bad about what you said, so guess it was my fault too."

Panam laughs and elbows him playfully.

"Is that an apology from Johnny I hear?" She's still laughing, and he wants to tell her to look at the road and be fucking  _ careful _ , because V didn't sacrifice himself for him to die in a car crash in the Badlands.

"You know, V trusts you, so I do too." Johnny suppresses his urge to groan and wishes internally that he could jump ship, because he's not good at dealing with heartfelt conversations where people say that he's not a bad person. "That means you're part of my family too, you know, so I'm here for you if you need me."

Johnny doesn't know what to say, so he just nods before sternly telling Panam to keep her eyes on the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I've been really into writing for this fandom lately but I might slow down after this since I'm not too sure what else to write haha
> 
> I do have some ideas for next chapter but we'll see

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on twitter [@renmantai](https://twitter.com/renmantai), although I mostly draw there instead of post about fics.


End file.
